


Need.

by carpethefanfics



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Healing, Injury, Sadness, Tears, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 08:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11271711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpethefanfics/pseuds/carpethefanfics
Summary: Eren needs her just as much as she needs him.





	Need.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: violence, blood

She was pounding her fists into one of the many punching bags in the training room below the mess hall. She didn’t know how long she had been in there, how long it had been since she snuck through her window to get there, but she couldn’t stop. The idiot guard Captain Levi had assigned to stand outside her door obviously hadn’t checked on her and undoubtedly wouldn’t for the rest of the night. 

 _Moron probably assumes I’m asleep,_ she thought to herself.

She had ventured down there, in spite of her injuries, because of the gruesome nightmares she was having. Every few hours she would wake up, her face hot with tears, her muffled screams imprinted into her pillow and her vision blurred red from the blood she couldn’t stop herself from seeing. She figured she would tire herself out by just simply staying up but she knew her mind. It just wouldn’t stop wandering to images of every death she had ever seen and some deaths she had hoped she never would see. 

That was how she ended up in the training room and once she saw the bags she knew exactly how to fix her problem. 

 _The more I punch_ , she thought to herself,  _the better I’m going to feel_. 

But since it hadn’t worked yet she kept going. The pain in her fists, the throbbing of her ribs, and the general soreness of her entire body was distracting her mind from the events over the past few days.

She had been on bed rest, ordered by Commander Erwin, for her injuries sustained fighting the Female Titan. They had been outside camp for a few hours when everything went wrong. Captain Levi led them into the forest, she had figured out by then of their plan to capture the Female Titan but they definitely hadn’t calculated her advanced level of intelligence. She was no regular abnormal.

Mikasa recalled the unrelenting feeling of anger that pushed her and her blades toward the violence.  Somehow during the course of their battle Eren ended up in the Female Titan’s mouth and the thought of losing him for a second time,  _no_ , that wouldn’t happen. 

She let her emotions throw her off course trying to get Eren out of harm’s way and as a result ended up plummeting 30 feet from the tops of the trees to the forest floor. The last thing she could recall was a faint image of Eren safely hooked under Levi’s arm. She remembered feeling content before she blacked out because if this is how she was going to die at least she had done her job,  **he was safe**.

However, sometime after that, she was told about two days, she finally woke up with no memory of what had occurred after her fall. When she opened her eyes she was greeted by the sight of Eren and Armin leaning over her. She tried to speak to them but as she tried to raise herself up to do so she felt pain shoot through her body. She dropped herself back onto the bed and the pain thankfully subsided. 

She turned her head to the left to see Captain Levi peering at her, the usual emotionless look on his face; he spoke softly as he stared at her. She was to stay in bed until her bruises had turned a faint yellow, her rib-cage had healed and she could at least lift herself up.

Clearly she wasn’t too good at listening.

She continued wailing on the bag, ignoring the screaming from her body as it tried to get her to rest, and let her mind go blank. She only stopped when she heard a ripping noise and her fist made no contact with the bag. She focused her eyes to see what was wrong and realized not only was the bag completely torn in half but it was covered in blood. 

She looked down at her hands and saw the raw, red appearance of her knuckles. She spun around to grab tape to wrap them up and continue but she froze when she realized Captain Levi was standing in the doorway watching her. 

 _‘Well fuck,’_ she groaned.

“If I recall correctly, you should be in bed,” he lifted one eyebrow at her curiously, “so why the fuck are you down here?”

She continued walking to grab the tape, wrapped her knuckles and then, as she flexed her hands, she spoke, “Couldn’t sleep Captain.” 

She kept her eyes fixed on him in anticipation of the much deserved screams she would receive but instead he smirked, “I don’t know why I even bothered to station a guard outside your door.” She kept her eyes fixed on him curiosity keeping her in place.

“You made a dumb move out there. We can’t afford to lose soldiers like you.”

She rubbed her lips together before speaking, “All due respect Captain but Eren is a much more valuable asset and he needed me.”

“Or is it you that needs him?” She narrowed her eyes at his remark but kept silent.

“No more acting on your emotions, is that clear? If that suicidal moron wants to get himself killed that’s his problem.” She stood still, gripping her wrist in her hand to stop herself from openly defying her superior, and nodded. She would always protect Eren; no short guy in a shiny uniform was going to stop her from that. No matter how many times she was punished for disobedience.

“Now get the fuck back to your room and wash that blood off.” Captain Levi turned on his heel and walked out of the training room.

Mikasa let out a huff of air after she heard him open the door to the top of the stairs and close it. She dropped the tape on the table next to her and followed suit. As she got to the top of the stairs she followed the long hallway to her room but rounded the corner to the bathroom first. 

Before she could open the door however she heard a low whisper, “Mikasa? Why the hell are you out of bed?” She looked back over her shoulder, her hand resting on the bathroom door as though she were about to push it open, and that’s when she saw Eren standing in the hallway with nothing but a pair of cotton pajama pants on.   

She watched him as he began walking towards her, asking more questions as he got closer, “Why are you covered in blood? Wait, why are you all wet? Do you have a fever or something? What’s going on?” 

She dropped her hand from the door and turned to face him, “I just – I needed to get out that room okay.” She dropped her eyes to the ground trying to avoid any more questions but sprung right back up to Eren’s face when he grabbed both of her hands.

“Mikasa what the fuck were you trying to do to yourself!? Are you not injured enough?! God  _dammit_.” Although he was speaking in hushed tones she could hear the anger in his voice. He pushed past her, his hands still holding onto hers, and pulled her into the washroom. He moved two chairs up near the sink, pushed her shoulders so that she would sit and grabbed a towel. He started peeling the tape from her injured hands, moving more slowly each time she accidentally let a whimper slip through her lips.

“What the fuck were you punching Mika, a steel door?” She smirked at him as he finished pulling the tape from her hands and began dabbing up the dried blood with a warm wash cloth.

As she sat there with him in silence, his calloused palms moving over hands and up her arms to get all the droplets of blood that had run across her pale skin, she thought about what Captain Levi had said moments before this.

  _“Or is it you that needs him?”_

 Watching him sitting before her, shirtless at that, she mentally sighed. She did need him, she knew that, but she didn’t think anyone else did. He had saved her from those men all those years ago, taught her that in spite of the horrors of this world they could fight it and live,  _actually_ live. 

She pictured the moment when he had wrapped his scarf around her neck and, without even thinking to ask his father, invited the orphan girl into his home. For all that Eren was, and he was many things, stubborn, overly emotional, and single-minded; he was also passionate, hard-working and caring. She would do anything to keep that kind of goodness in the world.

“You’re not made of iron you know; your body needs time to heal.”

She was pulled out of her head by his words and lifted her head. As she refocused her eyes she realized he had been staring at her and her cheeks went pink, “Did you hear me? You need to stop being so careless Mika.” 

She pulled her hands back from his touch, “Careless? I saved your ass out there Eren, in case you forgot.” Her eyes narrowed at him, she realized she had caught him off guard and his green eyes grew wide in confusion, “But at what cost Mika? You almost died!”

She folded her hands in her lap and clenched her jaw; she didn’t want to say what she was thinking. She knew if she spoke those words,  _“For you,”_ his anger would grow. He always repeated the same words to her when she was protecting him, always told her that he could protect himself now or that she shouldn’t care so much because the odds of them both dying increased every day. So she sat there, watching him, waiting.

That’s when he leaned forward, his elbows were resting on his knees and he placed his face in his hands. She watched him, why wasn’t he yelling and trying to get her to answer him? Then, suddenly, he leaned back up and ran his fingers along the fresh wounds on her knuckles; her eyes grew wide realizing his eyes were glazed over as if he were going to cry.

“I saw you. When I woke up, I saw you.” 

She furrowed her brow, “What-” but before she could finish her question he leaned in, pushing his knees into hers and forcing his hands into fists.

“I wasn’t unconscious when Levi pulled me out. Once we were back in the trees I tried to find you – see where you had gone and that’s- that when I realized – I saw you.” She kept her eyes fixated on him but he was looking at their hands and she could feel the hot tears dripping onto her fingers.

“I haven’t been that scared since my mom Mika. Seeing you plummeting – you were headed to the ground so fast. I was screaming your name but you – you just wouldn’t move. I wanted so badly to get to you but – but I couldn’t. If Levi – if he wasn’t there – I don’t know I don’t know  _I don’t know_.”

She removed her hands from his and leaned forward to embrace him. She felt his face move to the crook of her neck, the tears still falling from his eyes, as he pressed into her skin. He moved his arms to wrap themselves around her body. He pulled her in tighter, trying not to hurt her ribs but trying to be as close to her as he could be. She had one hand on has back, the other resting against the back of his head, “Eren.”

She pulled back slightly, arms still around him, in order to look at him. His eyes were no longer glazed over but his cheeks were wet and sticky from before. Hearing those words come from his mouth she realized that she was so focused on protecting him, on keeping his life safe, that she didn’t realize how it would affect him if she died in the process. She had assumed all those times he yelled at her to stop trying to protect him that he wanted to show everyone is own capabilities but it was more than that. 

**Maybe he wanted her to keep herself safe too.**

“I’m sorry. I’m okay now.”

She wanted to promise him she would always be there for him, that she wasn’t going anywhere but she couldn’t. For all they knew tomorrow they would lose each other forever. In their line of work, promises didn’t mean anything. It was about the moment and appreciating what you had right now. As they pulled further apart he just nodded his head. 

They stood together and he walked her back to her temporary single room down the hallway. The guard was no longer standing there; she assumed Levi had relieved him after catching her downstairs.  As she opened the door he followed her inside and helped her back into bed. He could see the pain on her face as she moved but, being who she was, she continued and said nothing.

When she was finally lying down and underneath the covers Eren sat on the edge of the bed. She could see a look of hesitation on his face as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t get out the words.

She placed her hand on his and smiled, “Thanks Eren, have a goodnight okay?”

He nodded his head and she watched him walk across the room to the door but that look persisted. As he placed his hand on the door knob she felt her eyes beginning to close until she heard his voice again, “Mika?”

She tilted her head to see him watching her, “I need you here.”

Before she could respond he had opened the door and walked out.

And although as she slept that night her dreams were still filled with the usual bloody nightmares, this time the blood came from the Titans.

**Author's Note:**

> https://carpetheotherfandoms.tumblr.com/post/162087652747/need


End file.
